Patriarchy and Gender Stereotypes

So, you may or may not know this already but my husband and I have a patriarchal household. This means that he is the head of the house. The one who has final say. The one who says how things are going to be.

Now, before you get angry or scared know that he doesn't do these things ignorantly or selfishly. We talk and communicate and make sure we're on the same page all the time. He wants me to be happy, and I want him to be happy. So we both work hard to make things equal in that respect. It just so happens that it feels right for one of us to be in charge, and we wouldn't click or fit well if I tried to take that role, so instead we fit like this.


On a similar note, we're going to have a child and will raise them to see men and women as being equal in what they can and can't should and should not do. We hope they know we live the way we do because it fits us, not because he is the man and I am the woman. Gender honestly has nothing to do with our choice to be this way.

We want to teach our child things like:
No one should hit anyone regardless of gender. (It isn't just girls who shouldn't be hit, boys have a right to be safe from harm as well)
Holding doors open for people is good for anyone to do. (It has nothing to do with being weak, incapable, or lesser than the other person. It's just nice manners to help others.)
Gender doesn't matter when it comes to who can learn skills like cooking, cleaning, mechanics, or constructing things, etc. (Gender doesn't mean you can't do certain things even if you enjoy them, anyone can do anything they love and have a talent for or interest in)

We basically just want to leave their world open without trying to cram them into a gender-stereotype box or going over the top with the gender-neutral thing. We just want them to be themselves and not feel limited by something like their gender.

If our son wants to wear pink and grow his hair long and play with dolls, cool go for it those things are NOT just for girls.
If our daughter wants to have a shaved head, never wear dresses, and call herself a pirate king while playing with toy swords, enjoy kiddo because those things are NOT just for boys.

They can have the hello kitty toy or the transformers toy if we eat out at mcjunkfood or somewhere similar. It doesn't have to be a "boy" or "girl" toy. It's a toy, and toys don't have gender last I checked.

Our kids can be who they want, they have a choice.

Just as it is my husband and my's choice to live the way we do, with the husband is head of household and the wife stays home to cook, clean, and raise the children.

If we have a daughter who grows up to be CEO of a business, AWESOME. It works for her.
If we have a son who chooses to be a stay-at-home dad, AWESOME. It works for him.

No matter who they grow up to be, or how they choose to live thier lives as long as they live thier truth and are happy, I'm happy and proud of them.

Unconditional love means just that to me, that I love my kids without condition.

And besides, childhood can be confusing enough without our child questioning if it really IS okay for a boy to like having tea parties, or a girl to like playing sports because some of society doesn't seem to think so.