Otakon dinner on Saturday night went awesome. I'll post about it again later when I have pictures and stuff. My feet/ankles/legs swelled up pretty bad afterwards though, lol. I pushed myself too much but by today they are back down a bit but still tender and sore. It's safe to say I'm not going to DC for the great nurse in this year simply for the fact that I don't want to go into labor with sore feet. Haha.
Then today, Lori came over and checked everything out. Lilith is in a GREAT position for birth (Okay, now stay that way baby!!), BP, heart rate, etc. all check out. In fact, you could VERY clearly hear her heartbeat with the fetoscope right away. It was so cool, and hubby got to hear the heartbeat and his face lit up SO BRIGHT at that. I love that he loves being there for all this. :)
We went over a few more things, and we'll have the missing rod piece for the pool by next Tuesday so that can finally get set up for the birth and then everything will be set and it will just be a waiting game!! It's so exciting that it is so close!! She is allowed to come any day now, but we are hoping she stays in there until I can have the pool set up next week at least... "Please be nice and let mommy have her birthing tub Lilith!!! It'll be so nice for both of us if you wait just a little longer!!"
So exciting though. Time has gone by SO FAST and I've loved this whole pregnancy. even the hard/tough bits and pieces that made me cranky on occasion. I wouldn't trade these past several months for anything in the world. It's been simply amazing to see and feel my body changing and growing and building this little girl. It truly has been special and fantastic and I am SO very grateful to have had sch an easy pregnancy and been able to enjoy it. I will never take for granted how calm and relaxed and good everything has been for me. I truly feel like the luckiest woman in the world and am so glad to have been able to truly be happy from start to finish with this whole thing.
That's about it though. Life is good.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Cloth diaper sadness...
Just read:
Oh Katy® is Closing its Doors!
It is with very mixed emotions that I announce the end of Oh Katy diapers. We will be closing our doors in August. I have recently given birth to my fifth child and am feeling the need to simplify my life and devote more time and undivided attention to these little ones God has graciously blessed me with. I'd like to thank you for supporting me and my business over the past four years. If you have any final orders you'd like to place before my inventory is gone you may place them by August 15th, while supplies last. God bless!
I'm going to cry. I only have 5 of their diapers since I wanted to try them first and see how they worked but it's just my luck they are closing their doors JUST as I am so close to having my baby.. This was honestly the diaper I was MOST excited for and looking forward to using.. Watch, it'll be the kind that fits Lilith best and I'll wish I had ordered more of them... I need hubby to order the violet one from their official website since they have some left in stock still. I REALLY wanted this brand in their violet color but our local cloth diaper store never had them in stock when we went so I did not grab one yet. If I can just get that I will feel better as I'll have 6 Oh Katy diapers in all the colors I want and that will be that (I figure if I have 6 of them I can make it work and just bust my butt washing them extra so they get cycled through my stash faster... lol)... I'm SO SO sad though... :(
Car Seat Install
That awkward moment when you go to a firehouse to have your car seat install double checked by a certified child safety seat technician and he mistakes the minimum FFing limit of 20 lbs for the maximum RFing limit of 40 lbs and tells you that you can only RF up to that limit (20 lbs) and you have to correct him and point out right where it says "Rear Face 5-40 lbs" >.>;
He was really impressed by what I knew about car seat safety as he would ask me questions about how things should be, etc. and I would answer them quickly and easily and he'd be impressed that I knew the right answer... :P
He did show me that our vehicle did in fact have LATCH capabilities that I managed to somehow not be able to find (Preggo brain much?) though so that made my day since I prefer LATCH over a lap belt and am so very glad our vehicle is able to do that. So goes to show you can ALWAYS learn something new. :D
Pics:
♥
Friday, July 27, 2012
Den (not yet finished)
Everything isn't 100% set up yet (obviously) but I wanted to share pictures of the den. I'll post again once it's totally finished. The thing in the center is the birthing pool we will be setting up this afternoon!!! :)
Home Birth supplies
Large hand mirror, Pool liner, Tarp, Bucket (For puking, lol)
Lots of underpads, More underpads, Gauze Pads - Straws, Lots of gloves, Jelly lube - Antiseptic - Alcohol wipes,
Towels, hand rags/small towels, Receiving blankets (Not pictured), Cloth pads - mesh panties, Peri bottles - Floradix, Witch Hazel - Peroxide, Bulb syringe - Scrub pad.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
VICTORY!!!
VICTORY!!!!!! THE DEN NO LONGER SMELLS NASTY!!! THE CARPET IS CCCCLLLLEEEEEAAAAAANNNN!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DEN IS NOW 99% READY FOR THE BIRTH!!! I moved a bunch of stuff where I want it to be and now everything will 100% be ready by next Wednesday!!
All that is left: Move a couple small things out of the den this evening, set up the birthing pool with Cellus tonight or tomorrow so we know how big it is, where I want it, etc. and lastly I need to put all my birthing supplies down there in an organized fashion (Which will wait until Wednesday). I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY AND EXCITED OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!! *Happy Dance*
WOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DEN IS NOW 99% READY FOR THE BIRTH!!! I moved a bunch of stuff where I want it to be and now everything will 100% be ready by next Wednesday!!
All that is left: Move a couple small things out of the den this evening, set up the birthing pool with Cellus tonight or tomorrow so we know how big it is, where I want it, etc. and lastly I need to put all my birthing supplies down there in an organized fashion (Which will wait until Wednesday). I AM SO FREAKING HAPPY AND EXCITED OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!! *Happy Dance*
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
Carpet.... (cont. of VENT post)
Carpet issue- The problem is the smell. I can small it. All over the house. Like, even upstairs where our bath tub is. And in the baby room where we will be sleeping. it is EVERYWHERE IN THE AIR. There is no escape from the smell.
Carpet update- Since posting we made progress. Neighbor came over to keep me company (Otherwise I would have ended up laying curled on my side in bed crying until I passed out) and then when Cellus got him he ran out to take care of doctor/insurance stuff for his leave from work and get us dinner. Meanwhile, our neighbor spent 2 hours with our deep cleaner cleaning the carpet and making some progress (Some progress, as in it did not get fully cleaned.)
But before Cellus left they talked about it and our neighbor was even like that "Yes, bissel is great. It is top of the line for what it is. However, you are talking about YEARS of built up animal urine (Jaaten DID NOT piss that much on the fucking carpet and it now smells like DOG piss instead of cat piss so it was the damn people who lived here LAST's mess we are now cleaning.) and shampoo/cleaner (because seriously, we are getting up SO MUCH GOD DAMN FOAM it is like they HAD to of dumped something on to of the spot to cover the smell/stain but didn't rinse it out afterwards...It's like someone spilled detergent on the carpet and left it to dry and it's just sat deep in the carpet for YEARS unnoticed...) and honestly, it is not meant for a project THAT extensive. It would be quicker and easier to get professionals in with industrial strength deep clean machines." but hubby wanted to keep trying with our Bissel. Sure. Knock yourself out. Just make sure the house doesn't smell like this when I go into labor. Seriously, it better not.
So anyway, 2 hours, some progress is made (The water started to be a lighter yellow, SLIGHTLY less foam coming up, etc.) now mind you we are only focusing on a SMALL SECTION of the den (About 8 feet by 5 feet) and this is already AFTER Cellus had spent 4 hours on sunday deep cleaning the same section (6 FUCKING HOURS AND IT'S STILL NOT CLEAN). So it's REALLY not looking good (And the smell is still hanging around, and even now HOURS after the fact the house smells...).
Cellus gets home, I eat food, neighbor leaves, Cellus takes over deep cleaning, I pass out on the couch because I don't want to deal with life right now, get woken up by Cellus. He tells me it's his bedtime and so I need to go sleep in my bed up here. Okay. So as I am making my way to bed he is talking (And I'm half asleep) and mentions "Oh, deep cleaner broke again." ... ... ... "We have professionals coming over tomorrow between 12 and 4. They should be able to finish in about an hour or two." ... ... ... "Write it on the board cause I will forget details when I wake up again (I totally did)". Soooo...We spent FOUR WEEKS waiting around on the repair. It got repaired. It worked A LOT better than the first time around (Seriously, have to give credit there. It had a MUCH longer life this time) but we now have a dead deep cleaner. Again.
So my brain is reminded how worried it made me intiially to cut it so close in the first place ("Four weeks to repair? That is cutting it close to full term and what if it breaks again will we have time to fix it again or do something, etc.") and my fear came to life since I wanted everything ready by this coming Sunday and it's obviously not ready yet (It is only Tuesday. We have time. I am trying to remind myself of this and not let it make me meltdown.). So now I just have to wait and hope that they can fix it tomorrow and the house won't stink anymore by Sunday. I am not going to stop worrying until Sunday, and depending on how it goes I might STILL be worrying...
Sigh... It's life, life sucks some times. I am just SO GLAD I got most everything else finished way early in pregnancy. I swear if I had waited until later in the game to try and start prepping (and some people thought I was being SILLY by wanting to get shit done so early...IN YOUR FACE) I'd be freaking the fuck out with that much more on my plate. As it is, the ONLY seriously big hold up at this point is the damn carpet issue. I think all in all we're not doing so bad. I just REALLY need this smell issue resolved ASAP. I can't labor and birth positively and effectively and healthily in a house that reeks of animal urine. Seriously.
At the end of the day though, I love my husband and I love my life in general. Things are just frustrating and stressful and overwhelming right now and it is making me bitchy and cranky and I am tring to not lose it and trying to not take it out on anyone. It'll settle down. I am pretty sure we will find a final solution to this in time for the birth. Until we do though, I WILL be worried and I WILL be stressed. And that's natural and normal and TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE given the situation. Cellus is honestly doing what he can though, he wants things ready so I can relax more, and I appreciate it more than anything and know he is doing his best and trying to make things better and it helps SO MUCH and means a lot to me. I'm honestly just frustrated with the situation, not with any given person.
Lilith, please stay in there until we get this fixed. I love you, and am excited to hold you in my arms, but it really will be okay, better actually, if you hang around in there until we get everything fixed and ready for your arrival. I love you and don't want you to be born into a house that reeks like animal piss and was not 100% ready for you to be here yet. It is NOT the birth situation/setting I want for me or for you. Please don't be in a hurry to come out.
________________________________________________________________________________
Good news though: Chiropractor issue is FIXED and I go see him next Thursday at 4. ♥ :D
VENT
Lilith kicked me in my bad rib side this morning so now I get sharp pain if I inhale too deeply.
Also, I can smell cat pee from the carpet downstairs. Hubby using the deep cleaner yesterday might have made things worse by resurfacing whatever was in the carpet (It is nowhere near clean yet because of the foam or previous pets or years of what the fuck ever I don't freaking know, I just know it's NOT anywhere near clean yet...ughhh..). So I may have to be like "Do NOT clean the carpet anymore until after the birth or I will kill you." because I will seriously LOSE IT if I go into labor and the den smells like cat piss. It will fuck EVERYTHING up and feel like the end of the world (even if logically it isn't).
Add to that I call the chiropractic office I have my referral for and the prenatal guy no longer works there so I call him up at his new place and now it's a waiting game to see what happens next because his office is calling our doctor and working that all out and then getting back to me. Here is hoping I can still use this referral, or get a new one no problem, and go see him next week some time. Doesn't help that I totally ended up crying on the phone during this whole thing though. So embarrassed and kicking myself for being such a hormonal mess. It's just that between my hips, back, and now my ribs all hurting me I REALLY need to go get adjusted and the thought of it not happening in time is too much right now on top of everything else that isn't "right" at this point.
I just can't handle so much shit going wrong all at the same time this late in pregnancy apparently. I was handling things okay before and doing okay at keeping it together, not getting so upset, and just going with the flow and being like 'Whatever will be will be" but now I just want to curl up and cry and wave a wand to have everything magically fixed by this weekend so I can stop being all "WE ARE NOT 100% READY FOR THE BABY TO COME YET! OMFG WHAT DO WE DOOO!!!" Like, I'm not actually freaking out or stressing like that physically but mentally I'm just like "Things need to STOP going wrong so we can be ready for the birth by 36 weeks and then I can just be 100% chill and zen for the last few weeks of pregnancy so I can prepare my mind and body for the birth in positive ways without ANYTHING bugging me or causing negativity/stress." Ugh... Fucking hate this shit... :(
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friiiiiday Friiiday~
Saturday. 2:42 AM.
We had a great appointment with the midwife yesterday. Cellus got to be there and he was so excited for that~ I LOVE how much he loves being there and being involved. He is so excited to become a Daddy!! ♥
We found out Lilith is being a buttmunch and is like "I'm gonna be sunny side up." (posterior) right now but at least she is still head down so that's a plus. We have some stuff to do to encourage her to turn over though here is hoping it works.
It does NOT help that I keep ending up sleeping on my back most nights. I put pillows all around me and between my knees, and usually fall asleep on my left side but sometimes my right side and it's all good then. However, Cellus will find me sleeping on my back at some point in the night so I apparently roll over onto my back without waking up (Though I will wake up to turn all the way from my right side to left side or vice versa). He is so nice and always moves me back onto my left side (Or shakes the belly and tells Lilith "Hey. Stop letting mommy sleep like that." and that stirs me enough to shift on my own). It's not the end of the world for her to be this way, and she still has plenty of time to turn (even up to me going into labor). I just hope she turns sooner and gets into a really good position for birth. It would make the whole process so much easier on both of us, lol. didn't I guess it though? Smooth, laid-back, and easy pregnancy, and then she goes and decides to do something to make the birth itself more difficult... Little monster baby... ♥
I see the midwife again on the 31st. Then August 1st is "Okay baby, you are welcome anytime you like" time. But again, hoping she stays in there until AT LEAST the 15th of August.
We got the birthing pool yesterday. Made triple sure we are 100% ready as far as birth supplies go. Now all that is left is to clean the carpets sometime soon (We got our deep cleaner back yesterday!! Yaaaaay!!!) so we can then arrange the den for the birth. Then we'll be ready to go. Hopefully it all gets accomplished by next weekend so I can find my "zen" in the last couple weeks so to speak. lol
We had company over last night. Cellus' friends and their family he grew up with. It was fun. I totally passed out on the couch after they left though. I was tired. lol
I DID get to sleep downstairs with Cellus though. That was sooo nice. I missed cuddling him and being close... :3
Also, as far as today goes. The plan is to head to Abby's Lane around 11:30 to meet up with Ginger, Sean, and their little boy. As well as Sam and her little girl. Then Nika and Brian should be meeting us there too at some point. I need to buy a few last minute diaper things for Lilith and I just LOVE bringing friends to the store (Ginger will be looking into baby carriers). Then we'll all go eat lunch at Foster's (Mmmm. Milkshake~). Then come home and hang out with Nika and Brian for the rest of the evening!! SOOOO EXCITED!!!! It's going to be a good day.
So yeah. That is the plan. I don't know what else to ramble about so I'll stop here. Yaaaay!!!
We had a great appointment with the midwife yesterday. Cellus got to be there and he was so excited for that~ I LOVE how much he loves being there and being involved. He is so excited to become a Daddy!! ♥
We found out Lilith is being a buttmunch and is like "I'm gonna be sunny side up." (posterior) right now but at least she is still head down so that's a plus. We have some stuff to do to encourage her to turn over though here is hoping it works.
It does NOT help that I keep ending up sleeping on my back most nights. I put pillows all around me and between my knees, and usually fall asleep on my left side but sometimes my right side and it's all good then. However, Cellus will find me sleeping on my back at some point in the night so I apparently roll over onto my back without waking up (Though I will wake up to turn all the way from my right side to left side or vice versa). He is so nice and always moves me back onto my left side (Or shakes the belly and tells Lilith "Hey. Stop letting mommy sleep like that." and that stirs me enough to shift on my own). It's not the end of the world for her to be this way, and she still has plenty of time to turn (even up to me going into labor). I just hope she turns sooner and gets into a really good position for birth. It would make the whole process so much easier on both of us, lol. didn't I guess it though? Smooth, laid-back, and easy pregnancy, and then she goes and decides to do something to make the birth itself more difficult... Little monster baby... ♥
I see the midwife again on the 31st. Then August 1st is "Okay baby, you are welcome anytime you like" time. But again, hoping she stays in there until AT LEAST the 15th of August.
We got the birthing pool yesterday. Made triple sure we are 100% ready as far as birth supplies go. Now all that is left is to clean the carpets sometime soon (We got our deep cleaner back yesterday!! Yaaaaay!!!) so we can then arrange the den for the birth. Then we'll be ready to go. Hopefully it all gets accomplished by next weekend so I can find my "zen" in the last couple weeks so to speak. lol
We had company over last night. Cellus' friends and their family he grew up with. It was fun. I totally passed out on the couch after they left though. I was tired. lol
I DID get to sleep downstairs with Cellus though. That was sooo nice. I missed cuddling him and being close... :3
Also, as far as today goes. The plan is to head to Abby's Lane around 11:30 to meet up with Ginger, Sean, and their little boy. As well as Sam and her little girl. Then Nika and Brian should be meeting us there too at some point. I need to buy a few last minute diaper things for Lilith and I just LOVE bringing friends to the store (Ginger will be looking into baby carriers). Then we'll all go eat lunch at Foster's (Mmmm. Milkshake~). Then come home and hang out with Nika and Brian for the rest of the evening!! SOOOO EXCITED!!!! It's going to be a good day.
So yeah. That is the plan. I don't know what else to ramble about so I'll stop here. Yaaaay!!!
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Amazement
I just woke up not long ago. Jaa was snuggled up next to/against me the whole time. I couldn't help but lay there and pet him gently and enjoy it while it lasts. He is my kitty baby and I love him. I've had him since his birth and he has been there for me always. Soon though, I will have Lilith and she will be the one laying there with me when I wake up. I will soon have a daughter curled up close at night to wake up to and just lay there and marvel at the little girl my husband and I have. Laying there with my cat and feeling my love and affection for him, and how much I enjoy waking up with him snuggled close makes me pause because it will be like that only multiplied times a hundred thousand when I realize it is no longer a kitty, but a beautiful baby that Cellus and I made. It's mind blowing to think about how much love humans are capable of giving to another being, and how much it truly will rock my world to birth this baby at home and wake up in our bed for the first time to a small little being nestled up on me. Mind. Blowing. ♥ :3
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Week 34
So I'm 34 weeks today~ :D
This means Lilith can come in 2 weeks at the soonest (I'm not placing any bets on it though, I REALLY HOPE expect her to stay inside for AT LEAST 4 more weeks, lol).
I'd say we are 97% ready for the birth at this point.
1%- We need the AquaDoula birthing pool/tub. Midwife is bringing it on Friday though so we'll have that by this weekend.
1%- Must clean carpet downstairs and reorganize furniture where it needs to be for the birth. We SHOULD have our repaired deep cleaner back by the end of the week so hubby can do that this weekend. Here is hoping.
1%- I need to double check our list of supplies and make sure we have everything for sure by Friday this week so if not we still have time to get things mailed to us if need be within the next two weeks. Though we should have most everything already at this point. Doesn't hurt to be doubly sure.
And then we'll be as ready as we'll ever be.
lol I guess that last one is the home birth equivalent of mothers getting paranoid about having everything they need in a hospital bag? lol
Also, the last weekend is July is final prep weekend. Sunday (29th) is going to be Cellus and myself at home where I will be showing him how to wash and fold our prefold cloth diapers and going over final birth prep things (Stuff that needs to get done during early labor) and just talking everything over more and making sure we are all up to date on things.
Fun note: The baby has been high this whole time and just Monday did she seem to drop a little and stay that way. It looks like it to me and hubby, but I'm waiting on our weekly progress photos so I can compare to make sure...lol
Not so fun note: Roughly 4 hours of sleep. Again. And I slept wrong so now I am sore.... @_@;
Anyway, pics and numbers will be up later today... ♥
EDIT-
Ramble:
YES!! I feel so in tune with my body and baby. We went to eat dinner with my mother in law at the nursing home Monday night. Well, while sitting down I felt Lilith shifting and moving and then after I stood up and we were walking out of the dining area I looked down at my belly and was like "That looks lower...and kind of feels lower..I wonder if she dropped a little?" and Cellus was like "I have no idea." but later when I was topless at home he said it looked like I "could" be right. WELL, today we took my weekly progress photos (Seen above) and they confirmed that I was not imagining it, she is for sure lower. I am just so insanely excited by how much attention I pay to my changes and how easily I have been picking up on small things like this. She didn't drop SUPER low and I am still carrying her the same as usual since she isn't wedged way down in my pelvis yet (So not waddling, or feeling like she'll fall out, or anything.) so I'm not sure if I am giving myself too much credit, or if this really would be a subtle change a lot of women might not notice? NOT trying to be all "I'm better than anyone else" but more so just proud of myself that I found SOMETHING in my life that I am NOT oblivious about finally. lol
That also explains why my waist size went down by half an inch.... :P
This means Lilith can come in 2 weeks at the soonest (I'm not placing any bets on it though, I REALLY HOPE expect her to stay inside for AT LEAST 4 more weeks, lol).
I'd say we are 97% ready for the birth at this point.
1%- We need the AquaDoula birthing pool/tub. Midwife is bringing it on Friday though so we'll have that by this weekend.
1%- Must clean carpet downstairs and reorganize furniture where it needs to be for the birth. We SHOULD have our repaired deep cleaner back by the end of the week so hubby can do that this weekend. Here is hoping.
1%- I need to double check our list of supplies and make sure we have everything for sure by Friday this week so if not we still have time to get things mailed to us if need be within the next two weeks. Though we should have most everything already at this point. Doesn't hurt to be doubly sure.
And then we'll be as ready as we'll ever be.
lol I guess that last one is the home birth equivalent of mothers getting paranoid about having everything they need in a hospital bag? lol
Also, the last weekend is July is final prep weekend. Sunday (29th) is going to be Cellus and myself at home where I will be showing him how to wash and fold our prefold cloth diapers and going over final birth prep things (Stuff that needs to get done during early labor) and just talking everything over more and making sure we are all up to date on things.
Fun note: The baby has been high this whole time and just Monday did she seem to drop a little and stay that way. It looks like it to me and hubby, but I'm waiting on our weekly progress photos so I can compare to make sure...lol
Not so fun note: Roughly 4 hours of sleep. Again. And I slept wrong so now I am sore.... @_@;
Anyway, pics and numbers will be up later today... ♥
EDIT-
Week 34
38-41.5-39 149 lbs
Ramble:
YES!! I feel so in tune with my body and baby. We went to eat dinner with my mother in law at the nursing home Monday night. Well, while sitting down I felt Lilith shifting and moving and then after I stood up and we were walking out of the dining area I looked down at my belly and was like "That looks lower...and kind of feels lower..I wonder if she dropped a little?" and Cellus was like "I have no idea." but later when I was topless at home he said it looked like I "could" be right. WELL, today we took my weekly progress photos (Seen above) and they confirmed that I was not imagining it, she is for sure lower. I am just so insanely excited by how much attention I pay to my changes and how easily I have been picking up on small things like this. She didn't drop SUPER low and I am still carrying her the same as usual since she isn't wedged way down in my pelvis yet (So not waddling, or feeling like she'll fall out, or anything.) so I'm not sure if I am giving myself too much credit, or if this really would be a subtle change a lot of women might not notice? NOT trying to be all "I'm better than anyone else" but more so just proud of myself that I found SOMETHING in my life that I am NOT oblivious about finally. lol
That also explains why my waist size went down by half an inch.... :P
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
Holy crap. I have 2-8 weeks left. Expecting it to be more like 4-6 though... I AM GOING TO HAVE A FREAKING BABY ON THE OUTSIDE. LIKE. IN MY ARMS. AND MY HUSBANDS ARMS. AND IN MY BED. AND ATTACHED TO MY TIT. AND WORN ON OUR CHESTS IN A CARRIER. AND WEARING CUTE CLOTH DIAPER FLUFF. AND MAKING NOISES AND FACES. AND POOPING. *spazz*
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Stash links!!!
Links to all the cloth diaper stuff we have so far:
Prefolds:
Covers:
Pockets:
Inserts (Not counting the ones that came with the pocket diapers):
Wool Soakers:
I still need to buy:
_________________________________________________________________________________
Slightly off topic....
Wishlist items that would be nice to have but we don't need:
http://www.abbyslane.com/Mommy-Necklaces-Locked-Donut_p_591.html
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I'm no poet... :P
33 weeks pregnant.
I have fresh stretchmarks all around my belly button now.
They look like purple flames and are so cool to me.
I am proud of my marks and my belly.
I love my body's changes.
Mama pride.
Belly love.
♥
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Week 33
33 weeks. Only 3-9 weeks left. I think I'l be freaking out more about time remaining next week though... lol
Our carpet still isn't cleaned, I will call the repair shop some time soon and be like "How's it going on those repairs?" lol
I have a midwife appointment later today, I'm SO excited!! I'll write about it after she leaves maybe. :)
EDIT on Thurs afternoon:
Lilith and I are doing great, everything looks wonderful and is right on track!! Heart rate good, blood pressure good, growth rate good, she is head down still, her movements and sounds are good. Basically nothing to worry about still and we're both simply fantastic!!
Also, I just want to say I love my midwife and how we always end up chatting and getting off topic and rambling. She brought her assistant with her this week and she seems really nice and awesome as well.
We made an appointment for next Friday at 1PM. She'll bring the birthing pool then so we have it at the house ready to go. Then we'll give her the $250 to use the pool and she will be 100% paid off since I gave her the last $1000 out of the $3500 this week. WOOHOO!! Things are coming together nicely.
The only thing I could ask for is our deep cleaner gets fixed and we manage to clean the carpet in time for the birth... If not it's not a big big deal and I will get over it (The house no longer smells like cat piss and you can't smell it in the carpet unless you are standing over in the area right on top of it, we'll be on the OTHER side of the den though so yay!!) , but it really WOULD be nice... ♥
Oh, Also, I spent all night last night organizing and sorting baby clothes and diapers and making sure everything is where and how I want it. Only took about FOUR HOURS... Hahahaha....
This is partly because I got 2 boxes full of ADORABLE baby clothes in the mail from my friend Brandy. I love her SO freaking much and appreciate everything she has given us. I am SO excited for January when I'll be making Cellus take me up to see her in Maryland and our little girls can meet and it will be cute and awesome!! There was also an adorable pajama nursing top, and a stretchy baby wrap carrier!! :)
One of the FAVE things in the box though was this stuff (The blanket, the onesie that turns into a gown, and the hat) because I had already found the shirt that matches at a thrift stores months ago so it's AWESOME that I have matching stuff for it (It's from Carter's and they stopped selling this print years ago apparently!! SCORE!!):
Numbers and pics for this week:
Our carpet still isn't cleaned, I will call the repair shop some time soon and be like "How's it going on those repairs?" lol
I have a midwife appointment later today, I'm SO excited!! I'll write about it after she leaves maybe. :)
EDIT on Thurs afternoon:
Lilith and I are doing great, everything looks wonderful and is right on track!! Heart rate good, blood pressure good, growth rate good, she is head down still, her movements and sounds are good. Basically nothing to worry about still and we're both simply fantastic!!
Also, I just want to say I love my midwife and how we always end up chatting and getting off topic and rambling. She brought her assistant with her this week and she seems really nice and awesome as well.
We made an appointment for next Friday at 1PM. She'll bring the birthing pool then so we have it at the house ready to go. Then we'll give her the $250 to use the pool and she will be 100% paid off since I gave her the last $1000 out of the $3500 this week. WOOHOO!! Things are coming together nicely.
The only thing I could ask for is our deep cleaner gets fixed and we manage to clean the carpet in time for the birth... If not it's not a big big deal and I will get over it (The house no longer smells like cat piss and you can't smell it in the carpet unless you are standing over in the area right on top of it, we'll be on the OTHER side of the den though so yay!!) , but it really WOULD be nice... ♥
Oh, Also, I spent all night last night organizing and sorting baby clothes and diapers and making sure everything is where and how I want it. Only took about FOUR HOURS... Hahahaha....
This is partly because I got 2 boxes full of ADORABLE baby clothes in the mail from my friend Brandy. I love her SO freaking much and appreciate everything she has given us. I am SO excited for January when I'll be making Cellus take me up to see her in Maryland and our little girls can meet and it will be cute and awesome!! There was also an adorable pajama nursing top, and a stretchy baby wrap carrier!! :)
One of the FAVE things in the box though was this stuff (The blanket, the onesie that turns into a gown, and the hat) because I had already found the shirt that matches at a thrift stores months ago so it's AWESOME that I have matching stuff for it (It's from Carter's and they stopped selling this print years ago apparently!! SCORE!!):
You can also see part of my awesome looking diaper holder I made from a cardboard box and IAM's canned cat food contianer:
It holds our size 1 diaper covers, our newborn sized wool soaker and small fleece soaker, our size 1 profolds, and size 1 snappis. It's held togeher with clear tap.. Hahaha... Not bad if I d say so myself and I think it will help with diaper changing in the first couple months. Doing this and keeping it up on top of the dresser instead of in a drawer sure helped with my dresser organization and plans so it works for me!! :)
It holds our size 1 diaper covers, our newborn sized wool soaker and small fleece soaker, our size 1 profolds, and size 1 snappis. It's held togeher with clear tap.. Hahaha... Not bad if I d say so myself and I think it will help with diaper changing in the first couple months. Doing this and keeping it up on top of the dresser instead of in a drawer sure helped with my dresser organization and plans so it works for me!! :)
Numbers and pics for this week:
38-42-38 147 lbs
Monday, July 9, 2012
Marks and Beauty....
Stretchmarks are increasing. They look so freaking cool!! ♥ :D
I figure, if I'm going to have marks and have my body changed forever there is NO better reason than growing a baby. Worth every mark, every wrinkle, every bit of saggy skin. They mean that my body has done something TRULY AMAZING and worthwhile.
Besides, it's not like I can magically whine and complain my body back in time to it's pre-pregnancy state so it's not productive to be negative about my body anyway, I have what I have and loving it is better for my mental health.
Societies view of "beautiful" can go hike off a cliff. THIS is beauty to me. My body carrying my baby is BEAUTIFUL to me, and the marks will be reminders of such a life changing event and fond memories.
The weather....
Alright, Alright..... It's officially "hot" because I am sweating more than usual. I'll still take this over shivering from the cold any day though and I'm not miserable about being sweaty, just noticing it's pretty bad today... I'd still plan to be pregnant all summer all over again though... :P
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Week 32
Oh wow. 32 weeks. That means 4-10 weeks to go. Seriously. The soonest time she can come is 4 weeks. A month. So close. (Though I REALLY hope she stays in for at least 6 more weeks!!! I think she will. I think she'll be stubborn like her mama and be like "No. I'm comfy still." lol)
So here is this weeks pics and numbers. Next Wednesday I will have an update with the midwife and stuff so I might have more to post. For now though, life is simple and nice and calm.... Can't really complain about that. The most exciting/new thing is my breasts have decided to start making twice as much colostrum. I can hand express a good amount now. lol I am way too amused by it. I hope this is a good sign for once Lilith is born that my breasts will work just fine as far as producing colostrum followed by milk for her. :)
So here is this weeks pics and numbers. Next Wednesday I will have an update with the midwife and stuff so I might have more to post. For now though, life is simple and nice and calm.... Can't really complain about that. The most exciting/new thing is my breasts have decided to start making twice as much colostrum. I can hand express a good amount now. lol I am way too amused by it. I hope this is a good sign for once Lilith is born that my breasts will work just fine as far as producing colostrum followed by milk for her. :)
Week 32
37-41-37.5 146 lbs
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Amazed this morning.
I woke up from a dream this morning and had to share and capture this.
It is amazing where and how our lives take us. Thanks to the friends and mothers that have come into my life and several of the passions I have gained and stuck to within the last few years I have come so far in overcoming a serious PTSD related issue I have had almost as far back as I can recall. It honestly makes me happy and excited and proud of myself. It is just amazing how life can take you where you need to be, not just so you can help others, but also so you can help yourself.
I would like to personally send my thanks and love to Jessica, Kimberley, Maggie, Dash, Eicelynne, Jonathon, Danelle, Jennifer, Kaia, Shar, Katherayne, Amy, Christina, Beth, Rebecca, Sarah, and last but not least Marcellus for being such a big part of this whether they knew it or not. :)
Monday, July 2, 2012
Choice
I would have had an abortion if I had gotten pregnant anywhere before the year 2011. Until early 2009 I lived in a house of violence and stress and psychotic behavior. It was not healthy for me, and it would have been an AWFUL pregnancy (more likely a miscarriage due to stress to be honest) but I would have aborted it because personally adoption is NOT an alternative option to me for 2 reasons. 1) The system is already crowded. I couldn't even take a pet to a shelter without thinking "This pet is taking the chance of a home from another animal..." and feeling bad as hell, let alone a human being. The quality of life in those places (and even some homes that kids get fostered and adopted out to is god awful, my grandmother was one of them and she knows first hand how bad adoption places really can be for kids, as was I (I was put into foster care for 2 years during my childhood due to my mother's drinking problems, and I was a PLANNED pregnancy...). 2) I sincerely CAN NOT carry a baby for 9 months and then give it up, even if I were homeless I just CAN NOT do it because being pregnant for that long would cause me to form an attachment to the fetus and this would cause me to forego common sense of QUALITY of life and choose life itself for the baby I just birthed even if that life would be living under a bridge starving for food on a daily basis, or living in a house where my child would inherit PTSD like I have form the violence that I grew up with. Carrying a child to term would alter my psychology to the instinctual need to keep it, no matter how shitty a life it would have, and that is NOT something I could live with (Meaning I would have PPD, possibly hurt myself, possibly hurt or kill my baby, etc.) so abortion would be in the best interest for my sanity, health, and yes, even the fetus as it would have a poor quality of life once born.
Not to mention, to me I don't know exactly when or where "life begins" in the womb and I don't care. I believe an abortion should occur as early as possible though simply for the health reasons and complication risks. I am also an athiest and not religious though so I don't have any real belief in souls or whatever, I consider the fetus a person ONLY when it is outside of the mother. Until then? The mother is a person, the fetus is a fetus/parasite residing within the mother. :)
Anyway, 2009-2010 I moved in with my now husband (We had been dating for 6 months at that point). We had sex and used contraception and were very careful to not get pregnant (and succeeded). If I had gotten pregnant? I would have aborted because it was not something either of us wanted at the time (NOTE: He would never ask or tell me what to do, I simply told him how it was going to be and so we were always careful about it.) In 2011 I was off birth control and we stopped using condoms and switched to Natural Family Planning (NFP) among other natural things in preparation for TTC in November. We had no issues with that at all and I DID get pregnant in August because we had sex on our anniversary even though I was ovulating at the time. I miscarried at 5 weeks, but if I hadn't I would have kept the baby because while we were not TTC yet we were willing to risk an early pregnancy at that point in our life and accepted that without issue.
I am all about people doing what they want with their own bodies (Don't want to have an abortion? Don't have one. Fine by me. It's not my place to tell ANYONE what they should or should not do with their own body). I can not be in favor of pro-life being the law because like my situation explained, if I had been forced by law to carry a baby in that situation? I'd of been one of those women with a coat hanger in a back alley. No joke.
I also think about my own daughter and her life and future. I would not want HER to not have a choice. I wouldn't want her body to be controlled by anyone but herself in that way. I am pro-choice for myself, my daughter, and every other woman on this planet because there is no good reason to force women to do something with their body against their will and that is exactly what you are doing when you are against giving women the right to choose. You are in support of forcing women to do things with their body whether they want to or not.
As a last note, I have never and would never use abortion as a form of bith control personally, and honestly that situation is very rare ($9 box of condoms, $19 birth control pills, or $900 abortion?). However, if a woman chooses to have abortion after abortion and spend that much money and risk her bodies health that much by doing it over and over and over instead of getting on birth control or using condoms? It's HER body to do whatever with. I would never tell a woman she should or should not have an abortion. No one but that woman can say what is right for her and no one but that woman should be allowed to make that decision for her.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)