Home Birth (and then some...)

I’m planning on having a home birth with a midwife. It’s what is right for me and my family, but it is certainly not right for everyone.

I live in Virginia. This state has the 4th high c-section rate in the country and the two closest hospitals both have cesarean rates over 30% which is way too high for my personal comfort level.

The C-section thing is only one of many reasons though. There are so many more factors to it for me.

Relaxation and comfort aids in labor and home is a relaxing and comfortable place. I would be on edge and tense in a hospital. I would not be able to relax or feel safe and comfortable being surrounded by a bunch of people I don’t know and just being in a place full of sick and dying people makes my skin crawl. The bright lights, hospital sounds, and super-sterilized look and feel of the place would make me feel out of place and awkward. I feel that I would also have to argue and fight and get bossy and defensive (I’ll go over that later). Not to mention the icky hospital beds, the hard cold hospital floors, the nasty gown they would probably try and force me to wear. It just wouldn’t be a comfortable or relaxing place for me.

Control is important. It is MY birth and MY choice. I want to do things MY way and everyone else be damned. At home I can do that. I can be in charge and in control. I won’t have to fight to do things my way and do what feels right and natural like I would in a hospital.
If I want to play music REALLY LOUD, no problem.
If I want to scream, yell, cuss, make noise, vocalize, etc., no problem.
If I want my friend, her husband, and their 7 year old daughter to be there, no problem.
If I want to be naked and dance around, no problem.
If having orgasms during labor helps me cope with pain and get the baby out, no problem.
If I want to labor and birth in a tub of water, no problem.
If I want to labor in multiple different positions, no problem.
If I want to give birth in a position other than on my back, no problem.
The list goes on and on and on and on….. 

I won’t have to argue, or fight people to do these things. I won’t be told “Stop.” or “You can’t do that.” or “Our policy doesn’t allow that.” or looked at funny or treated poorly. I won’t be bossed around or scared into intervention or pressured into things I don’t want. It will truly be MY birth choice and MY birth experience. Guided by me because I am the one giving birth.

I would be a difficult patient in the hospital.

Hospitals are for sick and dying people, and people who need emergency medical care. It is not the best place for the beauty of a low-risk birth to blossom. That’s just my feelings on the matter.

I would hate to have to travel anywhere. Why would I slow down or hault labor just to go somewhere other than my home? Why not just stay there, have the baby, and crawl into my own bed at the end and curl up with my new family in a familiar setting? The midwife will clean things up for me, I will wake up and the house won’t show signs of a birth other than the new sounds and smells of the baby. 

I get to keep my placenta and do delayed cord clamping and get immediate skin to skin contact bonding time. I want a placenta smoothie. Yep I said it. I’m going to ingest my placenta mixed with delicious fruit juices. It is NOT medical waste. It is an amazing part of me, the baby, the birth, and the post partum period. I’m going to let the cord stop pulsing on it’s own so my baby gets all the wonderful benefits of cord blood. I’m going to hold my baby right away and breastfeed and the whole cleaning them up and weighing them can happen a bit later. I am going to enjoy the hormones flooding through me as I hold my baby for the first time and enjoy that moment with my husband.

Speaking of, my husband will hopefully get to catch the baby (Unless I catch it first, lol) when he or she comes out. He will be able to be there and support me from start to finish and be an active and important part of the process. He will help me and the baby through the whole thing.

I love how much more personal midwives are. I will get to know her as she gets to know me. I will know that she will be the one coming to the birth, not just some random doctor who happens to be on call, and so she will know me and be able to better help me. It will be like having a great friend there to help make sure things are going smoothly, not some impersonal doctor who is just there to make sure I’m not being a liability.

The midwife also knows and emphasizes with me that this is MY birth and my first one at that and therefore it is SPECIAL and UNIQUE. Also, the fact that she has been there birthing a child herself allows her to really have deep compassion for my journey. She may have been a midwife to hundred of other births before, but never for me and so it is NOT just a routine job or another day in the life of a midwife and I am not just another woman popping out a baby. She is helping a first time mama bring her baby into this world and THAT is always a special one-of-a-kind day that deserves her best efforts and sincere care.

My views don’t align with a lot of other people. I trust my body, trust my baby, and trust birth. I trust those things more than I trust some random on call doctor and his nurses. To me, birth isn’t some scary, painful, dangerous thing. My body was built to carry and birth a baby and that’s what it’s going to do. I’m just going to follow my instincts and go with the flow on things. No I won’t be rushing to get induced at 40 weeks, no I won’t be wanting pain medication, and no I don’t want to be in a hospital just in case something goes wrong since it most likely won’t. That’s just me though. 

Anyway, my point is home birth is what feels right to me and so that is where I am birthing. If a hospital feels right for you, go birth in a hospital. If you prefer a birth center, go birth in a birth center. I can only speak about what feels right for me personally, I can’t speak for anyone else, but that won’t stop me from speaking about all the amazing options that are out there for women and the rights they truly do have when giving birth. I will continue to share information about birth, birth options, and birth culture and then step back and watch as women make the choices that feel right to them once they have the information and empowerment of truly knowing they have choices and rights. And in the end I will respect those choices even when they are different than my own because that woman is choosing and living her way, just as I am living mine.