VENT

Lilith kicked me in my bad rib side this morning so now I get sharp pain if I inhale too deeply.

Also, I can smell cat pee from the carpet downstairs. Hubby using the deep cleaner yesterday might have made things worse by resurfacing whatever was in the carpet (It is nowhere near clean yet because of the foam or previous pets or years of what the fuck ever I don't freaking know, I just know it's NOT anywhere near clean yet...ughhh..). So I may have to be like "Do NOT clean the carpet anymore until after the birth or I will kill you." because I will seriously LOSE IT if I go into labor and the den smells like cat piss. It will fuck EVERYTHING up and feel like the end of the world (even if logically it isn't).

Add to that I call the chiropractic office I have my referral for and the prenatal guy no longer works there so I call him up at his new place and now it's a waiting game to see what happens next because his office is calling our doctor and working that all out and then getting back to me. Here is hoping I can still use this referral, or get a new one no problem, and go see him next week some time. Doesn't help that I totally ended up crying on the phone during this whole thing though. So embarrassed and kicking myself for being such a hormonal mess. It's just that between my hips, back, and now my ribs all hurting me I REALLY need to go get adjusted and the thought of it not happening in time is too much right now on top of everything else that isn't "right" at this point.

I just can't handle so much shit going wrong all at the same time this late in pregnancy apparently. I was handling things okay before and doing okay at keeping it together, not getting so upset, and just going with the flow and being like 'Whatever will be will be" but now I just want to curl up and cry and wave a wand to have everything magically fixed by this weekend so I can stop being all "WE ARE NOT 100% READY FOR THE BABY TO COME YET! OMFG WHAT DO WE DOOO!!!" Like, I'm not actually freaking out or stressing like that physically but mentally I'm just like "Things need to STOP going wrong so we can be ready for the birth by 36 weeks and then I can just be 100% chill and zen for the last few weeks of pregnancy so I can prepare my mind and body for the birth in positive ways without ANYTHING bugging me or causing negativity/stress." Ugh... Fucking hate this shit... :(